a walk to remember

it's hard for me to believe that lucy's been gone for 3 months already. i miss her like crazy and am still trying to figure out what i'm supposed to be learning from this whole situation. today molly, sophie and i participated in a walk to remember at shawnee mission park. it was a memory walk for families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. there were about 30-40 families who participated. it was nice to connect with a few other moms who have experienced the loss of a child. we went on a 2 mile walk on one of the trails and then personalized a balloon for lucy. there were even enough for molly and sophie to do their own for their sister.

during the drive time today, molly asked some questions about lucy's death. trying to teach a 3 year old about heaven and heavenly bodies vs. earthly bodies...tough stuff. i did my best to explain how she's in the ground and in heaven...shared how to get to heaven...she kinda got some of it but also tried to make sense of it in her little mind by including her fairies! she told me her fairies fly up to heaven to visit lucy and she wished she could fly like her fairies so she could go. such a sweet girl. she misses her littlest sister.

after the balloon release we stopped by walmart and bought a little pie pumpkin and some markers. then went out to the cemetery and decorated it for lucy. she now has a little pumpkin by her grave. happy halloween sweet baby!

i came across this song a few weeks ago. it speaks the message so clearly of how i'm feeling. once again, i'm blessed to know that i will see my baby again because i have a personal relationship with Christ. take a few minutes and listen to the song...you'll be touched. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_izw6Vbz-0